I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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