is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
