How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize