I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
