used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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