who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
