I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
