UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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