the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i out mim tonsoeep
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