no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
