these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
