I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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