thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
