why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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