Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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