So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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