hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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