lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
