You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
