yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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