so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
