I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
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What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
be right there i have to get my cape
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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