you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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