She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
pop tarts are not kleenex
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
