those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
