the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
