You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
