I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize