I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
