The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
zippers are such a cool invention
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
