I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
