I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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