I just made out with a guy for $7.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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