summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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