Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
