i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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