Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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