Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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