Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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