friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
