and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize