i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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