Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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