doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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