You really coming over, don't trick.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
