clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
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Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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