I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I want to have your abortion
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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