I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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