VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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