dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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