Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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