After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
