So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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