Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
